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| conyeuchua 83 posts msg #66101 - Ignore conyeuchua modified |
8/12/2008 12:41:46 AM Psychology of Stock Trading Sources: Slope of Hope and Fund My Mutual Fund 
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| tomm1111 202 posts msg #69846 - Ignore tomm1111 modified |
12/14/2008 12:24:13 AM Removed by administrator in the spirit of the thread. |
| conyeuchua 83 posts msg #70269 - Ignore conyeuchua |
12/31/2008 4:59:40 PM HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! Here are Jay Leno's economic jokes for good cheers 1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing,. Its called the stock market - Jay Leno 2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street - Jay Leno 3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW 4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie! 5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left. 6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it - Jay Leno 7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar - Jay Leno 8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures - Jay Leno 9. President Bush's response was to meet some small business owners in San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21 - Jay Leno 10. What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's. |
| johnpaulca 12,036 posts msg #70936 - Ignore johnpaulca |
1/25/2009 12:40:51 PM One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.' 'Listen, you u don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart . Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.' So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.. 10 seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.' That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer=2 0prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart |
| maxreturn 745 posts msg #70937 - Ignore maxreturn |
1/25/2009 2:07:32 PM JP...keep em coming. ROFLMAO! |
| guru_trader 485 posts msg #71166 - Ignore guru_trader |
2/4/2009 3:22:30 PM From the web ... After 40+ years in the printing business my advice to people who have that resume ready is simple ... "A resume should be like a woman's dress, long enough to cover the subject and short enough to arouse interest." |
| Eman93 4,750 posts msg #71172 - Ignore Eman93 |
2/4/2009 6:34:26 PM My 6 year old boy told me this one.. A cowboy rides into town on Friday, he stays for 3 days and then leaves on last Friday of the month. How is this possable? His horse's name is Friday |
| conyeuchua 83 posts msg #71264 - Ignore conyeuchua modified |
2/8/2009 2:19:02 PM Source: http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ft/2009/ft090208.gif 
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| johnpaulca 12,036 posts msg #71441 - Ignore johnpaulca |
2/13/2009 8:00:56 PM What do you get if you cross a donkey with an onion? Most of the time you simply get an onion with long ears, but every once in awhile, you get lucky and get a piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes. |
| TheRumpledOne 6,411 posts msg #71481 - Ignore TheRumpledOne |
2/17/2009 1:57:40 PM Way too funny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AyVh1_vWYQ&feature=subscription |
| StockFetcher Forums · General Discussion · JOKES | << 1 ... 10 11 12 13 14 ... 26 >>Post Follow-up |